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| Charm bracelets |
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| message from chiam margalit on 9 Jun 2003 |
My almost 11 yo daughter is begging for a gold charm bracelet just
like moms. Mom (that's me) has had her bracelet since she was around
8, and she is NOT giving it to DD. She can inherit it when I die, but
not before. I love mine, and it's filled with charms that my 2
grandmothers got especially for me.
So, in order to stave off the desire for a very expensive investment
piece of jewelry for a child who loses *everything* (this week,
*another* pair of glasses bit the dust), I got her a silver-colored
charm bracelet with 8 el-cheapo charms that reflect her likes. We've
got a book, a soccer ball, a gymnast, nail polish, an enamel flower, a
birthday cake, a cat, and an artist palette. It's cute, but it isn't
gold, it isn't even sterling, and she wants gold.
I don't have a problem with buying it charm by charm, but I think this
particular child is too young and way too careless for good jewelry.
She disagrees, of course. The only good piece of jewelry she owned, a
Jewish necklace, she lost.
What is a good age to get something like a charm bracelet, and once
you have it, do you keep it for your child, or do you allow her to
keep and hope for the best?
Thanks in advance,
Marjorie
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| Naomi Pardue replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
While I think that most 11 year olds (assuming they own a jewelry box) could
own a charm bracelet [or other nice jewelry] safely), if yours can't be
responsible enough, then 'average age' is irrelevent.
Perhaps you could make some sort of arrangement with her? Like, if she can
keep track of the cheapie one for ... oh ... 6 months, you'll get her a nice
one, but YOU hold onto it when she isn't wearing it, and she only wears it on
special occassions? (Shul, parties, etc.) And yes, you will have to be
responsible for making sure that you get it back when she takes it off after
arriving home.
Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator
(either remove spamblock or change address to npar...@indiana.edu to e-mail
reply.)
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| Mary Gordon replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
Probably somewhere in the 10-12 range. I don't think 8 year olds "get"
that certain things are valuable, and few are all that careful with
possessions. I have a 9 1/2 year old son, for example, that I would
never consider buying valuable jewelry for at this point. I'd probably
find it at the bottom of a bucket of lego.
However, my 12 year old son has a heavy .95 silver chain (quite the
teen fad sort of thing). It was almost $100, not the same price
category as a gold bracelet loaded with charms, but still expensive
for a kid - when he got it as a gift at 11 (after a lot of bargaining
and parental conditions) we were worried, but he is very careful with
it. He has a special place he keeps it, he takes it off every night
and puts it away etc.
There is nothing wrong with making her wait. Tell her you will buy her
the bracelet for her 10th birthday (or 11th or 12th, or whatever age
is most appropriate for the particular kid and how careful she is with
her things), and then she can collect charms over the coming years.
I'm older (46) so when I was a teen, silver charm bracelets were the
big thing, and it is fun to look at mine. It is loaded, and every one
was given to me to commemorate some event or trip, so its really
wonderful and full of memories (I even have a silver tooth on there
given to me by my highschool boyfriend when I had my wisdom teeth
out). My late mother had one, given to her by my father, but she
didn't collect charms for events, so it means much less (he just
bought her some nice ones on occasions because he liked them). Its
pretty and all, but not loaded with the memories mine is.
Mary G.
Mom of 3 - 12, 9 and 5
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| 0tterbot replied to Mary Gordon on 10 Jun 2003 |
(snip)
i like this idea, because then the bracelet will be special. a bracelet with
one or two pertinent charms as teh first present, & then the other charms
can be special gifts from special people to mark particular occasions.
but it's hard to pick a good age. many kids wouldn't lose it at 10, but if
she needs to wait a few years, so be it.
kylie
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| Cheryl S. replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
How old was she when she lost her necklace? Has she matured since then?
I would say, give her some opportunities to prove to you that she can be
responsible for the bracelet, and if she's successful, then get her one.
Or have her earn the money for it, or a significant contribution at
least, to help her understand its value. Or maybe promise it to her as
a special gift for her bat mitzvah (sp?)?
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| Banty replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
I have a B-52 charm on mine, a gift from my father. Betcha not too many girls
have a strategic bomber on their bracelet :-)
Banty
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| iphigenia replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
I like what Naomi and Cheryl were saying - see how she does with the one you
gave her. Maybe let her know that the cheap one is a "practice" bracelet
that she can use to demonstrate her ability to take care of nice things.
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| Marion Baumgarten replied to iphigenia on 10 Jun 2003 |
My daughter got a silver charm bracelet in 7th grade and has been very
responsible with it. I can't imagine buying gold- we just don't have hat
money. Maybe you could start buying charms for her now for special
events, etc, but keep them for her until she is old enough for the
actual bracelet?
Have you seen the Italian charm bracelets made of little links? Those
are fun and not too expensive.
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| dragonlady replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
The age will vary from child to child. Instead of an age, how about a
test? Buy her something relatively inexpensive (a watch, say, since
that also goes around the wrist) and tell her that if she can keep it,
wearing it regularly, for some set period of time (a year?) then you
will buy her a gold charm bracelet.
I've done that about a number of things; for example, I got DD#1
contacts when she could prove to me that her taking responsibility for
personal hygien (sp?) had reached the point where I could trust her to
take care of them appropriately.
meh
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| Donna Metler replied to chiam margalit on 10 Jun 2003 |
What about a sterling charm bracelet, if there's no nickle sensitivity?
There are some really pretty charms available, and they're much cheaper than
gold, but still "Nice" jewelry. Maybe you could even buy duplicates-one in
silver, one in gold, and keep the gold for her until a set age (maybe 13 or
16), while she keeps the silver. That way she'd have one, but know she was
getting the gold.
I have four charm bracelets (in silver and gold), starting with the one my
great grandmother started for me at age 5. At a charm for each special event
for years, I may need to start a 5th soon :).
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